stephierecovers:

As somebody who has been on both ends of the suicidal communication spectrum - being suicidal and supporting somebody who is suicidal - I felt it was time to write this post.

Throughout my life, I have seen people deal with suicidal loved ones in very different ways. Many of them are well-meaning - some not so much - but sometimes what you think might help might in fact make things worse. Hopefully, this post will help people understand how deal with a friend or family member who is suicidal.

First, it is important to remember that, in dealing with somebody who is suicidal, your own emotions will probably be running amok. It will be hard to understand and perhaps accept that somebody is feeling so much pain that they would want to end their lives. You might get angry or upset or confused. Make sure you look after yourself and seek out the appropriate support for you as well as the suicidal individual.

Also, if things end badly and your loved one ends up succeeding in their attempt(s), remember that it is not your fault.

The rest of this post will focus on why people feel suicidal, common warning signs in somebody who is suicidal and what you should do to help.

Why people feel suicidal:

(from the Mind website)

“Some people have a strong, clear desire for death. They may feel hopeless and believe that things will never get better and it’s beyond their power to do anything about events and pressures in their life.

When someone is feeling so helpless and hopeless, it may be comforting to them to think that death is still within their control. Personal beliefs about what death will bring – nothingness, a place in heaven, reunion with the dead, reincarnation – may also bring comfort. Suicide may seem to be the only way of solving problems, once and for all, and ending the emotional pain of living.

However, self-destructive emotions, thoughts and behaviours are often far more confused than this. In the weeks beforehand, depression, hopelessness and irritability often build up. Under pressure, people may become desperate, but may still feel confused. They may not want to die. Rather, they may see death as the only way to escape an impossible situation, to relieve an unbearable state of mind, or to convey desperate feelings to others. Some may be past caring whether they live or die. An important fact for you to recognise is that, however wavering and confused their feelings may be, they remain life threatening.

The underlying causes of suicidal feelings are likely to be a complex mix of personal and social factors: a run of problems or bad luck may feel overwhelming; a sudden personal crisis may trigger despair; or despair may build slowly.

The pressures and hurts of many years can wear down a person’s self-esteem. It can also be anger that is bottled up and turned inwards. There may be an incident or problem just before a suicide attempt – but this is rarely the real cause. Just as a sense of despair can take years to build up, so suicidal feelings often develop gradually.”

Common warning signs in somebody who is suicidal:

(from the SAVE [Suicidal Awareness Voices of Education] website)

“These signs may mean someone is at risk for suicide. Risk is greater if a behavior is new or has increased and if it seems related to a painful event, loss or change.

• Talking about wanting to die or to kill oneself.
• Looking for a way to kill oneself, such as searching online or buying a gun.
• Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live.
• Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain.
• Talking about being a burden to others.
• Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs.
• Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly.
• Sleeping too little or too much.
• Withdrawn or feeling isolated.
• Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge.
• Displaying extreme mood swings.
• Preoccupation with death.
• Suddenly happier, calmer.
• Loss of interest in things one cares about.
• Visiting or calling people to say goodbye.
• Making arrangements; setting one’s affairs in order.
• Giving things away, such as prized possessions.”

What you should do to help somebody who is suicidal:

(from the Help Guide website)

“Do:

• Be yourself. Let the person know you care, that he/she is not alone. The right words are often unimportant. If you are concerned, your voice and manner will show it.
• Listen. Let the suicidal person unload despair, ventilate anger. No matter how negative the conversation seems, the fact that it exists is a positive sign.
• Be sympathetic, non-judgmental, patient, calm, accepting. Your friend or family member is doing the right thing by talking about his/her feelings.
• Offer hope. Reassure the person that help is available and that the suicidal feelings are temporary. Let the person know that his or her life is important to you.
• If the person says things like, “I’m so depressed, I can’t go on,” ask the question: “Are you having thoughts of suicide?” You are not putting ideas in their head, you are showing that you are concerned, that you take them seriously, and that it’s OK for them to share their pain with you.

But don’t:

• Argue with the suicidal person. Avoid saying things like: “You have so much to live for,” “Your suicide will hurt your family,” or “Look on the bright side.”
• Act shocked, lecture on the value of life, or say that suicide is wrong.
• Promise confidentiality. Refuse to be sworn to secrecy. A life is at stake and you may need to speak to a mental health professional in order to keep the suicidal person safe. If you promise to keep your discussions secret, you may have to break your word.
• Offer ways to fix their problems, or give advice, or make them feel like they have to justify their suicidal feelings. It is not about how bad the problem is, but how badly it’s hurting your friend or loved one.
• Blame yourself. You can’t “fix” someone’s depression. Your loved one’s happiness, or lack thereof, is not your responsibility.

If a suicide attempt seems imminent, call a local crisis center, dial 911, or take the person to an emergency room. Remove guns, drugs, knives, and other potentially lethal objects from the vicinity but do not, under any circumstances, leave a suicidal person alone.”

If you want to read a more comprehensive article about the risk levels of suicide, how to help them with their treatment (getting professional help, medication, attending appointments etc.), read this link.

PLEASE REBLOG TO RAISE AWARENESS.

(Source: gettingfitforzombies, via fitforinfinity)

eveningfades:

The beauty of Eating Disorders.

I have been bulimic now for about 7 years, and this disease is killing me from the inside and on the outside. I’ve purged up blood before, but never as much as I experienced today. The amount of blood actually shocked me. I have almost no hair left, and the hair which I still have has thinned out. My teeth are all rotten. I can’t drink cold drinks. I can’t drink hot drinks. I can’t eat hard, crunchy things. My jaw will be getting surgery soon. My stomach hurts every time I attempt to keep food down. And not to mention my digestive system is completely fucked. 

So you want perfection? You want all the boys to want you? You want to be beautiful? 

You’re not going to get that. This is what you’ll get.
You’re further and further away from perfection each second.
No boy wants you because you always smell like puke, blood, and you actually fear even being close to anyone. You become worthless.
Beautiful? No. You become an ugly, horrible monster. Scars, bruises. You can’t go on dates. Refuse to go out with friends. You isolate yourself from everything and everyone.

Still not convinced? Do you still want this?
I’m giving mine out for free. 

(Source: eveningfades-me, via justbreathe831)

(Source: naniithran, via healthyisclassy)

fitfastfierce:

1. Don’t allow yourself any negative thoughts. You are capable of amazing things.

2. Only positive thoughts about your body. It is beautiful in its uniqueness, it takes you everywhere and does incredible things for you. It deserves your love and trust.

3. Loving and trusting your body enables respect. Respect allows you to act on the signals your body gives you.

4. Respecting, loving, and trusting your body allows you to listen to it more closely. Let it tell you when you’re hungry, what you’re craving, when you’re full, when it is energetic, when it’s worn out.

Full circle—accepting, loving, and respecting your body leads to better choices. Only you know how your body feels and what it needs. Learning how much you can trust it gives you an even stronger sense of positivity, peace, and acceptance. 

(Source: oraclesaidwander, via fitforinfinity)

(Source: , via fitforinfinity)

(Source: healthylivingforyou, via healthylivingforyou)

healthylivingforyou:

Everyone should take a moment to evaluate why they’re working out and eating right. Is it to be healthy or is it to look good? Think carefully about this. At first thought you may not think it’s damaging to your self-esteem to do it for a sexier body (After all, aren’t I just making it better by working out?), but think again. Think about the times you’ve looked in the mirror and felt so fat, ugly, or whatever other negative things you’ve ever called yourself, that you binged on some unhealthy junk food, thus making you feel even worse.

If you make the choice to exercise and eat right for your health, you will have a more positive body image. You will stop hating your body. You will stop wanting to starve yourself to be thin. You will stop wanting to exercise every time you eat because of how “fat” you feel. You will instead develop a healthier relationship with food and exercise, allowing for you to focus on your goals instead of worrying about every last calorie or pound.

This change can be hard, but for many people it’s completely necessary.  If you do it all for your health, the sexy body will just be an awesome reward for your hard work. Your body and mind will thank you.

— Melissa

I can distinctly remember the first time that I started obsessively controlling what I ate and how much I weighed. It was my sixteenth birthday party, and my mom made me a scrapbook of all the big memories in my life up until that point. Looking through the pictures, I thought to myself, “Am I really that fat?” I had always been a little on the chubby side, and my mom had been trying to get me to lose weight by putting me on various diets since I was about 8 years old, but I had never really realized how disgusting I was until that moment. 

All of a sudden, I didn’t want to eat anymore. Food was my enemy. I would wait until I had almost passed out from hunger until I started eating, and would stop as soon as my stomach stopped growling. I would look at myself every time I passed a reflective surface and pick out all of my flaws, and focus on those while I was eating. I grew to be very uncomfortable eating in front of people, because they would always comment on how little I ate. I lost about 30 pounds in the course of 3 months. My friends all told me I looked amazing. But when I looked in the mirror, I still saw myself as being fat. That’s when the trouble really started. I started wearing a leather bracelet with strings at the end and tying one knot for every 100 calories I consumed. If there were more than 8 knots at the end of the day, I wasn’t allowed to eat the next day. I went from around a size 4 to a size 0, and I do not have the body type that is healthy at a size 0. I started skipping my periods and always felt depressed and tired.

What hurt me the most was that no one even seemed to notice. No one seemed to care that I was a sad, insecure, self-loathing girl who just wanted someone to reach out to her and love her.

And then I met my best friend. 

She is confident, beautiful, and she eats. From her, I learned the importance of exercise and of eating right. She told me that you have to learn to love yourself for all of your flaws. That even when you’re feeling fat and ugly and disgusting, you just have to look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I am beautiful.” She really helped me to get through that time in my life, and now I would venture to say that I am at a healthy weight. It took a very long time, and a lot of pain and a lot of nights spent crying myself to sleep, but now I do love myself, and I want to take care of my body because I love myself. I eat right and I exercise. I still have days where I loathe my body, but nobody is perfect, and I hope that someday, I can be just as inspiring to someone else as my best friend was to me.

fitvillains:

I’ve long held the belief that when it comes to promoting positive body image, the WORST thing we can do is start picking apart each others bodies. Time and time again, I see women (well-intentioned, intelligent, pro-lady women) tear down models for their ultra thin frames & it makes me sad and angry.

While we have a substantial body image crisis in terms of representation & diversity, the models we see are women who’ve been hired BY an industry that’s looking to sell us a product (note: that formula only works when we buy into it). They are hired specifically for their looks & they have a genetic “advantage” (if you choose to see it that way). But when I think of the abnormal pressure to be ‘thin’ in today’s world, I count them among the victims. I’d have to argue that no other group of women is so heavily targeted, pressured or bullied to be thin, ideal and flawless. Depression, eating disorders and body image issues are issues that plague the modeling industry, and their world isn’t as glamorous as we’d like to believe.

Sexual harassment, industry bullying and abuse also run rampant within the industry. A new organization, Models Alliance, is hoping to change that, and also hopes to encourage healthier practices amongst models, better work conditions and assistance (psychological) for models in distress. Remember that many of these women get into the industry very, VERY young.

Health is what I’m all about. These measures will not change much in terms of the standards of beauty required to make it to the runway: they’ll still be beautiful, tall & thin. But healthy is something I’d like to add to that list. It’s far too common to hear of models dying before the age 30 due to health problems from years of eating disorders, fueled by insecurity, pressure and bullying from a young, YOUNG age.

Baby steps in the right direction.

Excerpt via Blisstree

It’s probably safe to assume that when most people think of modeling, they equate it to an easy job where beautiful girls get to walk around in beautiful clothes all day. But if you ask them, they would likely tell you that it’s anything but the glamorous picture some people paint. In fact, it can include downright deplorable conditions that include sexual harassment, abuse and bullying. Thank goodness models are finally realizing this and fighting back with a new Models Alliance that will hopefully provide the industry with healthier role models.

Model Sara Ziff founded the nonprofit organization because she was tired of the treatment she and other models were receiving. The alliance is seeking to establish workplace standards, that will, among other things, include privacy to stop unauthorized nude photos and clear the backstage area of photographers and non-essential staff when the models are changing clothes. They also seek to reduce child labor infringements and provide advice on how to handle body image bullying and sexual harassment, which she says are all too common in this industry.

Read more.

(via healthylivingforyou)